her constant glow

My pen is my ship
The ink, my ocean
My friends, the winds
My kin, the harbours

But I could sooner say

My pen is a key
The ink, my code
My friends, the locks
My kin, the chest

Where a captain keeps their log

Everything is
Coated in dust even -
my laboured breathing

when I wake up, it
will be too soon because
you… gtfo 

just a shadow
a shade of you
willow, ash and hemlock
swirling at the bottom
of a whiskey bottle
jaded and cracked
I should throw you
out with the guilt
the shame
with the blush of drink
flush of memory
But you are the embers
and snakes
to the Moses of
the reeds of
my watery past-
inescapable
drowned
remembered for posterity.

When you go to sleep
so shall I
and it would not matter
if we were made of stars
or clay
If we dreamt of fields
or gardens
or without dreams,
we would wake
in a bright morning
with only memories
of the night before.

But I would rather
when we went to sleep
that we would
dream together
or
not at all. 

talking to you brings
most comfort when silence is
the only answer 

Stark, steel beaked and straight
they dove down into the mud
soft, slick silt in pools of rust
worms and grubs ground

There were cheers,
bright lights against the night
heads held high shook the rain
red eyes warning passing planes

I would if I could
write more
     often
     suddenly
     sparingly
     maybe just a… scribble

But I am drowned in
dreams of
    fears
    fatigue
    ideas
    even breathing is… work 

from the bench I saw
dead crushed snails stabbed by shells
did they try to run?
 

cold water and soap
try in vain to wash away 
pillow marks on skin